Freedom is an inside job.

There was a pivotal moment for me at the beginning of 2023…

I was deep in the process of doing pattern work and shadow work with a mentor of mine when I suddenly woke up to the fact that I had crawled right back into my invisible cage.

This was an energy thing…

It felt like isolation.

Like my world was LITERALLY smaller.

And I was in this little hole of "safety" hiding from the world.

(If you read my last Heart Note story, you know what contributed to leading me back to this place — if not, go read it after this!)

And it didn't realllllly show in the physical world, I had been building beautiful community and friendships – online and in person. I was showing up online sharing vulnerably on a consistent basis. I was definitely not isolated.

But energetically, I was still hiding.

Hiding from the bigness and fullness of who I really am.

Hiding from the depth of intimacy in relationships I desired (while actively seeking it).

Hiding from standing in my leadership, saying what I really wanted to say and being all of me.

This energetic cage was quite honestly my safety net that I had carried with me through life ever since my frist abusive relationship at the ages of 16-23. I've many times left the cage… but always kept it around, with the door open, for when I needed to feel safe…

Like a dog who loves their crate.

Because that's how the nervous system works.

Our nervous system will ALWAYS choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.

This is because it's only job is to keep us safe.

What is familiar is comfortable… and comfortable feels safe.

This is how we stay stuck.

When this awareness hit me and I could feel the walls closing in, I knew that I needed to make a change – AND TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY.

The only thing keeping me in that place was me.

And I knew that my environment absolutely needed to change.

The moldy house, the no-longer-working relationship (full story in Heart Notes Blog)… there was no more room to grow and expand here… I was retreating back to my safety cage…

And I chose HELL NO to that.

Fast forward to today…

And I'm a FUCK YES to all of life

Energetically, I am fully in the field.

My world has become incredibly vast and unlimited.

My capacity for intimacy + visibility is tenfold

So is my capacity for discomfort, change and doing things that scare me.

Cuz guess what? If you are waiting to feel READY or not scared to do something, you will wait forever. There is no ready. There is just courage and CAPACITY.

I made a choice.

I was so honest with myself.

I took full responsibility in ways I hadn't.

I chose to love and accept ALL PARTS OF ME.

I surrendered to divine guidance and let go of control.

I allowed myself to receive MASSIVE support and mentorship.

I took huge leaps in investing in myself – time and money.

I built capacity + resiliency in my nervous system.

I let myself feel LITERALLY EVERYTHING.

I dove deep in feminine embodiment.

I let myself die and be reborn.

I did the work…

I did the work, but I got OFF of the hampster wheel of healing.

I devoted myself to TRUTH.

I surrendered to God/dess and let go of control.

I kept my center and walked away from so much, even through the fear.

AND I BURNED THE INVISIBLE CAGE TO THE GROUND.

Safety is in my body now, not in a comfortable place to hide. I've become so anchored in my truth, in my center, in my root, in my WOMB – the world has become my oyster.

I am finally free.

And I want this for every woman.

LIBERATION and freedom is available to you too.

Where are you standing in your own way?

Holding yourself hostage?

Are you ready to say NO to that and live your YES?

Loving you big, sister.

🌹